Homesick, I am
If someone said to me that I didn't know the difference between reality and fantasy land, I would've accepted it. But not now. I'm not as naive as I was 2 years ago.
2 years ago, I started living on my own because I tranferred from New Horizon College of Engineering to Drexel University, in search for greener pastures to satiate my hunger for a better education.
It was then I started living on my own. And I realised why ma was so overbearingly protective over us and why she has become a little cynical over the years. Coming out of the protective confines of the 4 walls of my home was easy. But, living like that for 2 years hasn't been easy at all. It has been a constant struggle.
Simple things like 3 staright meals, which were a commodity have now become a luxury. Especially in US where house-maids are luxury, I had to learn to ration my time between full time classes, part-time work, cooking, cleaning and laundry (even before a big exam) because you can't concentrate on your studies on any empty stomach...right.
The transition also took its toll on me emotionally. No longer could I expect to come home after a rough day at school or work and dump it all on ma. No more fights for eating the biggest guavava or the biggest piece of cake. No more endless discussions and arguments with papa on country, family and world matters (those used to drive ma crazy). No more going to HAL market to buy veggies and fruits with papa. I miss all of it a lot.
I'm writing this piece in the ascending order of what I miss the most. So, the thing I miss the most is coming up:
For the people who know me well.....it isn't a big brain exercise, for the ones who don't the answer is: India, my motherland, my homeland.
A desi through and through, I got a big cultutre shock when I got here. It wasn't that I hadn't been to US before, but to live here was another thing. And I realised it first hand. It was through these experieces that I grew a better understanding and appreciation of our culture. I also relaised that things we take for grnated back home is actually a luxury here.
I miss everything about INDIA, the feeling of being a first rate citizen. The ability to walk fearlessly with your head held high. The small streets, the amrood wala and the aam wala, pani-puri, chaat, badam milk. The sense of being an integral part of a bigger entity, the feeling of having a say in the matter of national affairs. I miss all that very much.
A good friend of mine who I was discussing this article, asked me why have you written about it today?....And I realised that I haven't stated my inspiration for this piece and wouldn't be right not to give a reference to my inspiration. My inspiration for this article is the conversation I had today with a really good friend of mine....he knows who he is and for the rest he can be called Lt. X. Lt. X and me had very insteresting conversation about my Indianess and my understanding of reality and fantasy and my love for my country. Nothing more needs to disclosed from the conversation because these are baseline concepts that propelled me to write this piece today.
-A homesick Indian
2 years ago, I started living on my own because I tranferred from New Horizon College of Engineering to Drexel University, in search for greener pastures to satiate my hunger for a better education.
It was then I started living on my own. And I realised why ma was so overbearingly protective over us and why she has become a little cynical over the years. Coming out of the protective confines of the 4 walls of my home was easy. But, living like that for 2 years hasn't been easy at all. It has been a constant struggle.
Simple things like 3 staright meals, which were a commodity have now become a luxury. Especially in US where house-maids are luxury, I had to learn to ration my time between full time classes, part-time work, cooking, cleaning and laundry (even before a big exam) because you can't concentrate on your studies on any empty stomach...right.
The transition also took its toll on me emotionally. No longer could I expect to come home after a rough day at school or work and dump it all on ma. No more fights for eating the biggest guavava or the biggest piece of cake. No more endless discussions and arguments with papa on country, family and world matters (those used to drive ma crazy). No more going to HAL market to buy veggies and fruits with papa. I miss all of it a lot.
I'm writing this piece in the ascending order of what I miss the most. So, the thing I miss the most is coming up:
For the people who know me well.....it isn't a big brain exercise, for the ones who don't the answer is: India, my motherland, my homeland.
A desi through and through, I got a big cultutre shock when I got here. It wasn't that I hadn't been to US before, but to live here was another thing. And I realised it first hand. It was through these experieces that I grew a better understanding and appreciation of our culture. I also relaised that things we take for grnated back home is actually a luxury here.
I miss everything about INDIA, the feeling of being a first rate citizen. The ability to walk fearlessly with your head held high. The small streets, the amrood wala and the aam wala, pani-puri, chaat, badam milk. The sense of being an integral part of a bigger entity, the feeling of having a say in the matter of national affairs. I miss all that very much.
A good friend of mine who I was discussing this article, asked me why have you written about it today?....And I realised that I haven't stated my inspiration for this piece and wouldn't be right not to give a reference to my inspiration. My inspiration for this article is the conversation I had today with a really good friend of mine....he knows who he is and for the rest he can be called Lt. X. Lt. X and me had very insteresting conversation about my Indianess and my understanding of reality and fantasy and my love for my country. Nothing more needs to disclosed from the conversation because these are baseline concepts that propelled me to write this piece today.
-A homesick Indian
posted by Neha | 10:49 AM
5 Comments:
title thoda confusin hai.. shud b.."I MISS U MA N PA.. AND THE PAANI PURI WALA AND THE CHAT WALA AND THE PLE OF H A L MARKET"
So, when are you going back to the land of the plenty [of paani puris, that is] ?
:-).
Despite the culture shock, I hope you have time to realize that your stay here will go a long way in broadening your horizons, which in turn will greatly increase the value of the work you will do once you are back in the motherland, simply because you would have tasted what a developed country [potable water for all etc.] feels like [something I am sure you would like India to become], and what pitfalls lie in the way of it [should India also turn into a fast food nation?].
Enjoy the experience while it lasts!
Love and Luck,
-A
You will able to value both the places once you visit your country again now.Unless you experience this you will not be able to judge things .Who knows you might end up liking USA again? After all Indians who go abroad always swear that they are going to come back but than slowly they become NRI(Non Returning INdian).
Hi neha, anushka here (u know, george's roommate) I think i know what u mean.. first time i came to drexel in 2004 i got soo homesick, i just couldnt get through the day even. It was a huge change for me, even more than it was to you (lol, even i miss my house-maid and living a regular structured life). The late night studying/time wasting, waking up in the mornings with just 4 hours of sleep, and especially just not having anyone to talk to and just not fitting in to the society herr just tore me up..
Thats why I dropped out of college, went back to Sri lanka. At that time I had no intent of coming back to Drexel or the USA.. But as soon as my plane left LAX i started having regrets...
And as the days wore off back home with me doing nothing, I realized that there wasnt anything much left for me at home and actually how shitty life in SL had become (i had seen it as the ideal life, colored in rosy light during my misery at Drexel. I realized that I couldnt be rigid and that i had to change, just as i had changed through out my life from infancy, i wasnt the same kid i was at 5 (although i sometimes wish I was :P). So therefore I realized I had to accept the changes I face in the US and adapt my thinking to fit it.. I just couldn't afford to be rigid, and that I had to finish what I started (i.e my degree)
So here I am, back again at Drexel.. 6 months have gone by and I'm not feeling homesick or depressed (6 months is how long I lasted over here the last time. lol). Only thing I'm annoyed about is the tons of dumb non-science stuff drexel puts on us engineering students close to finals week :D
So stick it through and stick the course.. You're lucky with just 2 years more to go.. lol.. Before u know it you'll be back in India together with ur experiance in the US and u'll be better for it! :)
n00b spawn campxx0r...
:)
-gbv
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